Category: art

Your opportunity to own a clock with work-safe pseudo-medieval humour plastered on it!

Your opportunity to own a clock with work-safe pseudo-medieval humour plastered on it!

Read on to see why that sentence above does actually make sense!

So. Many years ago, I did a series of wee drawings of a knight chasing a dragon through the alphabet. I had good reasons, let us not discuss what they were because I don’t recall. I do love early Christian and Medieval illuminations, though. For anyone not familiar with the term, it’s the doodles around the edges of the books the monks used to copy out. Some of them are absolutely mental; the Toast had a series about it, someone has thoughtfully collected some of it here. Although apparently it’s all allegory and therefore quite possibly some sort of pithy political commentary whose point has been lost to the ages.

So, first to admit, my wee alphabet was quite tame by comparison with all that. However, in order to retroactively justify the amount of time I spent on it*,  now it’s been dragged back into the light of day and tarted up. And lo, by the power of modern technology, it is now available on mugs and T-shirts and cards and bags (and, apparently, clocks. I’m just gonna go with it. You never know if someone might be jonesing for such a thing, it’s a funny old world).

To check it out, click here!

If you want to buy something, I will of course love you forever, but if they aren’t your cuppa or you’re broke, feedback is welcome too!

 

*Oh okay, I had a deadline I was avoiding.

That was the week off, that was

That was the week off, that was

Somehow or other, I’ve managed to get nearly to the end of the business year with two whole weeks’ leave in my pocket. This greatly distressed my manager so I had to take this week off. It’s a hard, hard life.

I had so, so many plans it was hard to choose. Build the log-store I’ve been meaning to get around to for a whole year? Write that sequel that’s been popularly demanded? (If you count as ‘popularly’ one person, who was drunk at the time, which I will, dammit). Gut the house? (Now we have a dog – who turns out to be ninety-percent floof by body-weight – it badly needs it. Within approximately three hours of the last time it got done, too). Socialise? Pfft, what even is that?

Alas for all of this, I had an Idea.

Then some more ideas:

Then it kinda snowballed:

Then it got completely out of control. And, somehow, the whole week is gone…

A very happy 2018 to all!

A very happy 2018 to all!

Whoa, it is 2.5 hours till the Bells, and I have no earthy idea how this crept up so suddenly. Not that I’m not kinda glad 2017’s nearly over; if 2016 was the year everyone I knew was bewailing the deaths of artists they loved, this year’s been the year it got a lot closer to home, for a lot of people I love. Bad trend, dude, so I’m already giving 2018 the side-eye.

I can’t even say it’s been an eventful couple of months since the last post, although we did manage to get out a bit. We went to the local wrestling’s tenth anniversary at the Hydro (and had VIP tickets, it turned out, for the blasphemous price of thirty-seven pence apiece) so I got to have Swears screamed at me by thousands as we went up to the no-queueing door, which was… interesting… but it was worth it for a totally awesome night. Later that week, I got taken to see Deep Purple for a very cheap price by someone I didn’t know very well but who turned out to be totally lovely. I spent a lot of time trying to help someone who was going through a very bad relationship; then when we went down to Cambridge for a party and a couple of days’ peace, a bunch of bad news broke and we ended up inheriting a dog for Christmas. Within two hours of getting back, even, so that was a lot of running around even before my Christmas present (seven blueberry bushes) turned out to have arrived a month early and need urgent TLC.

Neither of us have had a dog before, so that’s certainly been an eye-opener. We’re very fortunate that he’s an OAP and as little trouble as a dog could possibly be (except for the separation anxiety. And the fact that he was terrified of the stairs. We ended up taking shifts sleeping on the couch, while I was under the attack of the worst lurgy I’ve had in a decade, so that was just fab, and in the end, though I was half-dead and the G-monster appallingly drunk (so jealous!) we got out the staple-gun and spent the midnight hour decking the stairs with cardboard until dog-breath could be persuaded to come up them and stop barking all the goddamn time already). He’s been here just under a fortnight and already it feels like we’re a proper family or something, so I predict he will stay long enough to break our hearts, and our bank balances with his medical bills, and then pop his poor little clogs, leaving us devastated. Woo, pets.

In the meantime, I fulfilled this year’s goal of writing a short story for every week for the year (if one generously counts poetry and sarcastic articles as short stories). The less said about all the other goals I had for this year the better, but who knows, maybe next year I will get more done. Not as much as I want, of course (until the lurgy, my plans for the Christmas period were to write eight short stories, and possibly a novel, and get a whole raft of drawing done, while somehow also gutting the house, getting fit with dog-breath and insulating the loft. Probably not realistic goals for eight days, but they never are.)

Nevertheless, it would be a small and mean world if one person had the slightest chance of experiencing it all in one lifetime, and I suppose it would be a small and mean lifetime if one had any chance at all of doing everything one wanted to do within it. Though I hope, for anyone reading this, you have a chance of doing all sorts of wonderful things and fulfilling all sorts of wonderful goals in the coming year. Remember, it’s always better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all. At least, until the landing.

On which note, here are some fever-animals. Happy New Year!

neon animals tiger dec 2017 smallneon animals zebra dec 2017 small

Is it too early to be plugging Christmas cards?

Probably, but I’m going to plunge on ahead with it anyway.

I’ve spent (what is probably far too much) time working on a wee series of cards that combine two things almost everyone loves – Christmas, and Great Cthulhu, who doesn’t quite ‘get’ Christmas.

Okay, when I say ‘almost everyone’, I mean, ‘almost everyone I know had to have Great Cthulhu explained to them, at which I did not do such a great job’ so it is the most niche of niche-y Christmas cards ever.

Here they are!

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And if for some reason anyone would like to purchase any, here’s the link. Season’s greetings y’all, even if this season is, um, still November at this time. Oops.

Great Cthulhu Hates Christmas

So that was a hiatus and a half

Woo, look at me, I started a new blog sit and it immediately fell on its face by the wayside. Much like when I started a new jogging regime that time, but that’s by the by. At least I was only in a metaphorical ditch, this time around.

 

So, things that have happened over the summer. First off, I got taken to Wales for my birthday, which is not a particularly long trip and yet one I had never made. For bonus points, we got stranded on the top of Mount Snowdon for HOURS when the tram (yes, we were being lazy, I mean, efficient – and supporting the local tourist trade!) broke down.

Not gonna lie, it got pretty grim. There was nowhere to sit, so we had to eat our pasties standing at a table, and the cider ran out so I was forced to drink local craft ale. The less said about my experience in the gift-shop the better, but lets just say I was rather lighter of pocket when we eventually got back to civilisation.

I will say, however, that I did love the round of applause that one of my fellow passengers got for making it to the very summit of the mountain. It may only have been about a 25 metre hike, in terms of verticality, but he suffered for it and I felt the spontaneous outbreak of love was well-deserved.

I don’t have any photos of that particular event because I felt it would be rude and intrusive. However, here are some photos of pictures drawn from photos of Wales, which is probably rather an unnecessary number of moves from the original:

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