Is it too early to be plugging Christmas cards?

Probably, but I’m going to plunge on ahead with it anyway.

I’ve spent (what is probably far too much) time working on a wee series of cards that combine two things almost everyone loves – Christmas, and Great Cthulhu, who doesn’t quite ‘get’ Christmas.

Okay, when I say ‘almost everyone’, I mean, ‘almost everyone I know had to have Great Cthulhu explained to them, at which I did not do such a great job’ so it is the most niche of niche-y Christmas cards ever.

Here they are!

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And if for some reason anyone would like to purchase any, here’s the link. Season’s greetings y’all, even if this season is, um, still November at this time. Oops.

Great Cthulhu Hates Christmas

I have a book out!

shutterstock with black

It’s a self-pubbed book, so it may well not count as a ‘proper’ book, but it’s the right length and it tells a story and everything. Perhaps a bit of a mad story, with monsters and explosions and extremely complicated personal relationships (I am totally stealing this sentence from one of my two kind reviewers) but as they say, for people who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they will like!

Hopefully, at least. You can have a gander inside at the link below and decide if it’s your thing or not.

In No Way Heroes

 

I see summer’s been and gone

Autumn’s pretty much over too! The best laid plans of mice and men, etc. I got a new job, a lot closer to home, and full of lovely people. Stressful as hell, and an awful lot to learn in a short time, but that’s what keeps you young, eh? (She says, looking at the tremendous amount of grey hairs busting out all over).

(I have made a name for myself there, despite it only being a contract job, what with standing up at the end of the first meeting I ever chaired, catching my foot on the table leg and going down like a felled tree, taking the hat-stand with me, and only the other week I got the norovirus that’s doing the rounds, had to bolt out of the meeting I was in the middle of minuting to be sick in the bogs and got sent home in disgrace. Go me!)

Then it was fruit-harvesting season, and a poor crop it was too thanks to the really cold weather, but I have a few dozen gallons of wine on the go which will hopefully be delicious next year. Hard on the heels of that, bad family news on both my side and the G Monster’s, which all hit at the same time. Life, eh.

So it was nice to get away to the Lake District for a well-deserved week off! Shame it rained quite a lot, also I came down with the most horrendous cold (because of course I did) so there was not as much hill-walking as there could have been. There were a huge number of steam trains to have a go on, though, and we had a pint on the steam cruiser on Lake Windermere (the bar is in the – bilges? gunnels? the bottom of the boat, anyway, so it was quite weird, sitting in a nice comfy saloon and watching the top of the water go by at neck height). And we saw some waterfalls and strange creatures and I got to hold a python. Sadly I am far rounder than before, due to staying in the White Hart Inn, which is full of delicious food and a wide variety of beer…

So here is a selection of fairly horrendous photos, almost all taken with the wrong settings.

lakes - wet creatures 1
everything in the Lakes was soaking, even this guy
lakes - view from windermere
and the weather was really ‘moody’, as seen in this view from the bar
lakes - waterfall 1
but it meant all the waterfalls were really huge
lakes - waterfall 2 - thingy force
we didn’t even think much of this one, last year
lakes - ghyll force
this is ghyll force (fun fact, force is probably from ‘foss’ which they are called in Iceland
lakes - ravenglass
we did get one nice day, though, in Ravenglass
lakes - steam train 2
which also has a steam train
lakes - steam train 3
it was bitterly cold, though
lakes - steam trains in bed
even the trains were all wrapped up
lakes - halloween 1
but it was Halloween so everyone had pulled the stops out
lakes - halloween 2
which impressed some more than others
lakes - rock tree
we also found a strange place where the trees grow only out of rocks
lakes - steam train 1
and a zoo with a steam train
lakes - halloween steam 1
and a place which did Halloween AND had FOUR steam trains!
lakes - halloween steam 2
if i had loads of money, I would do exactly what these guys did with theirs
lakes - skull
and here is a skull, because that appears to be a Thing with me now šŸ™‚

So that was a hiatus and a half

Woo, look at me, I started a new blog sit and it immediately fell on its face by the wayside. Much like when I started a new jogging regime that time, but that’s by the by. At least I was only in a metaphorical ditch, this time around.

 

So, things that have happened over the summer. First off, I got taken to Wales for my birthday, which is not a particularly long trip and yet one I had never made. For bonus points, we got stranded on the top of Mount Snowdon for HOURS when the tram (yes, we were being lazy, I mean, efficient – and supporting the local tourist trade!) broke down.

Not gonna lie, it got pretty grim. There was nowhere to sit, so we had to eat our pasties standing at a table, and the cider ran out so I was forced to drink local craft ale. The less said about my experience in the gift-shop the better, but lets just say I was rather lighter of pocket when we eventually got back to civilisation.

I will say, however, that I did love the round of applause that one of my fellow passengers got for making it to the very summit of the mountain. It may only have been about a 25 metre hike, in terms of verticality, but he suffered for it and I felt the spontaneous outbreak of love was well-deserved.

I don’t have any photos of that particular event because I felt it would be rude and intrusive. However, here are some photos of pictures drawn from photos of Wales, which is probably rather an unnecessary number of moves from the original:

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The neighbours gave me a “spare skull”

So I was round for coffee at next door’s bit the other day,Ā and they suddenly said, Do you want a spare skull for keeping things in? If not, it’s going in the garage.

Well of course, I said, mainly because I thought I had misheard the first bit, and anyway, who doesn’t need things for keeping things in?

I hadn’t misheard.

skull

I think I’ll call him Monte. I thought of keeping my sharpeners in him because they keep disappearing, but alas, I am too late.

 

 

Easter long weekend

We went down to a family wedding for the Easter Saturday, which was pretty low key but that was great because I got to talk to absolutely everyone who was there. Sunday, we met this retired coupleĀ at breakfast in the B&B and ended up being an hour and a half late setting off, just because the guy was absolutely, charmingly mental. Not only did he make me feel much better about being a gigantic wierdo myself, but I can’t wait to get old and spend my days trolling car salesmen too, now.

We did a wee circuit of the coast, armed with an OS map (in a car. If anyone does this on foot, or by bike, I salute you) on the way to Whithorn, (where my partner apparently dug up human bones with the school, many years ago. Wow, our school never did anything like that). We found an iron-age hill-fort, two lumps we thought were cursuses (cursi?) but turned out to be mottes, a couple of standing stones, a monument to Tarka the Otter, St Finian’s Well, and the Torhouse Stone Circle.

I am many things but a good photographer isn’t one of them, so here are the two least mediocre shots, of Torhouse Stone Circle and an Anglo-Celtic Cross near Thornhill, respectively.

torhouse stone circle looking towards east alignmentanglo-celtic cross near Thornhill